Easy ways to become better at these 8 soft skills

We all know the importance of soft skills in work. Employers often place more weight on a person’s social and emotional intelligence than their technical skills. But the definition of soft skills needs some refining. Author Ray Williams in The Importance of “Soft Skills”​ in Today’s Workplace says “within the academic world, a semantic and definitional debate is raging about how to classify soft skills and what to call them.”

So, while the academics are discussing this issue, we thought we’d offer our advice on how to enhance some key soft skills. These are the soft skills we discussed in our weekly Positive Networking® tip, Soft skills are essential, but what are they?

Here are some simple ways to become better at these eight soft skills:

1. BETTER COMMUNICATING – Make your thinking clear to the other person. They aren’t mind readers.

2. BETTER LISTENING – Repeat back what they told you if you aren’t sure you have understood them. And ask more questions if necessary.

3. BETTER CONFLICT RESOLUTION – Start by asking, “Am I the only one who is right?” Go into this conversation looking for a win-win solution. 

4. MORE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS – This is best advice ever, from the poet Maya Angelou, “People will never forget how you made them feel”.  Live this mantra!

5. MORE LIKEABILTY– When you meet someone, make a decision that you are going to like that person. Everything changes, from your body language to what is happening at a neural level. It has a reciprocal effect.

6. EMPLOY CIVILITY WITH EVERYONE – This wisdom comes from Peter Drucker, “…It is a law of nature that two moving bodies in contact with each other create friction. This is as true for human beings as it is for inanimate objects. Manners—simple things like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and knowing a person’s name or asking after her family—enable two people to work together whether they like each other or not.”

7. BE OPEN TO FEEDBACK – As hard as it may be, do not take feedback personally. Filter the important information you are receiving, no matter how it is delivered. Remember, not everyone is proficient at giving skillful feedback so avoid reacting emotionally.   

8. COLLABORATION AND COOPERATION – Use all of the above soft skills, make your communication clear to others, listen for comprehension before responding, and look for win-wins. And discover what you can do for others. It’s what we call Positive Networking®.

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Gayle Hallgren and Judy Thomson

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