Small Talk & Networking Tips For Introverts
One of the most common reasons people tell us that they don’t like networking is because of a fear of small talk. But guess what? You don’t have anything to fear. Even if you’re an introvert who’s networking!
In this blog post, we’ll discuss our top 12 small talk and networking tips for introverts specifically, but they’re also perfect for anyone who’s worried about the nuances of small talk in general.
So let’s get into it!
Top 12 Small Talk & Networking Tips for Introverts
Tip #1 – Small talk doesn’t need to be amazing or clever
Because small talk is one of the most dreaded parts of networking, many people set very high standards and try to develop the perfect, clever opening line. This in turn, often causes more anxiety than good.
Before we give you our advice to remove your fears of small talk, let’s break down what small talk is:
Small talk is an upfront investment. If you don’t have a short exchange of small talk, you can’t get to a real conversation.
Ah ha! So small talk is necessary, but it’s not going to be the bane of the conversation?
So here’s our advice:
Relax. You don’t have to come up with something clever. Just go through the motions of small talk in a natural way, and the rest of the conversation will flow.
Tip #2 – Use logical openers
Keep your small talk contextual. Something that refers to where you are, what you are doing, what has just happened, or is about to happen.
For example, if you are at a business networking event, you can get the conversation going with these kinds of questions.
- Have you been to any of these events before? If they say yes, it’s an opportunity to ask about other events they have attended, and if they have found them interesting or valuable. If they say no, you can ask why they decided to attend this one.
- Are you a member of this organization? If they say yes, you can ask them about the benefits, and how long they’ve been members. If they say no, you can perhaps mention that you’re thinking of joining and discuss the pros and cons, or ask if they have friends who are members.
- What did you think of the speaker we just heard? This is an opportunity for them to share their opinion. If you agree with them, it’s a bonding moment. If not, then maybe ask them more about why they didn’t like the speaker.
- Tell me a little about what you do? This is a chance for you to learn about their industry or role. The key here is to continue to ask questions, as that’s the easiest way to keep the conversation going.
- There is a huge turnout for this event – Wow, was not expecting this many people here, were you? Or, maybe the event is in a unique or different location and you can comment on it. If it’s summer, you might ask people if they have any plans for taking a summer vacation, and what they are planning to do.
Tip #3 – The secret of small talk
The third tip on our small talk and networking tips for introverts is specifically about small talk – and this networking tip for introverts is actually a secret.
Most people don’t tell you that small talk just feels awkward. There is no snazzy, clever one-liner that you can use to open a conversation. When you are starting a conversation with someone, making that initial small talk, well…it feels uncomfortable.
It’s the nature of the “small talk beast,” but once you realize that it’s uncomfortable for everyone, it kind of releases you from the anxiety.
Tip #4 – Don’t go alone to events
Walking into an event, party, or reception is way WAY harder if you are doing it alone.
Go with someone, but have a conversation beforehand to set some guidelines. It does absolutely no good if your wingman or wingwoman veers off into the great blue yonder as soon as you get to the event.
Choose a tag teammate who understands they are your backup when needed.
Tip #5 – Don’t feel like you have to go to events with an extrovert – it’s a myth
Some people like going with a person who can make easy banter, and who will talk to anyone, but that’s not necessary.
Two introverts can go together, use the other tips listed in this article, and make a major success of the night.
Tip #6 – Going alone is ok too
Ok. We know what you’re thinking. We JUST said in tip #4 not to go alone, but then we realized that we weren’t giving you enough credit!
If you have to go solo to the event, tell yourself, I can do this, yes I can! Give yourself permission to put on a pretend-extrovert hat while you are at the event.
We aren’t suggesting you change your personality. That’s way too hard, and unnecessary. Plus, you’re perfect the way you are.
Remember, being an introvert isn’t a disease, it’s a preference in the way you prefer to interact with people.
Tip #7 – Do a 180
This networking tip for introverts point is best told through a story.
Imagine a person who’s a total introvert and hates social events (yes, this person can be you.) One day, they decided they couldn’t stand feeling so awkward and uncomfortable. So they did the exact opposite of what they would normally do.
Typically they would stand against the wall and watch people. With their new strategy in mind, they did the opposite. A 180!
They went over and talked to the people they usually just watched. If people came over to them, instead of hoping that the conversation would end soon, they tried to keep the conversation going.
You can do this! A 180 is a non-emotional, uncomplicated way to change behaviour, for a short period of time.
Tip #8 – Don’t be too invested in the outcome
If you’re like most people, when you approach someone, you want that connection to be a total win.
You want the conversation to be awesome.
You want them to like you. Really like you! To have the start of a beautiful friendship.
Not every connection is a Casablanca moment— “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine…”
Tip #9 – Always arrive early
If you get to your event early (but not the first person there, obviously), it’s easier to seek out people and start a conversation.
When the room is packed it becomes much more intimidating, and that’s no fun for anyone, not just introverts who are trying to talk above the noise and crush of people!
Tip #10 – Ask obvious questions
Starting a conversation with someone becomes way too stressful if you are trying to have a deep meaningful conversation in the first few minutes.
Don’t forget to relax. Ask the obvious questions:
“How do you know the host?”
“What do you do?”
Exchange cards, shake their hand, and then you have something to talk about.
“Ron, so you are in the aerospace industry, I hear it’s booming in this region.”
Tip #11 – If you can’t hear people because it’s too noisy – move
There’s nothing worse than being at an event where it’s so loud that you really are straining to speak, and to hear what the other person has to say.
Look around for a quieter spot. Shy away from the loud and boisterous groups. They’re not your people.
Tip #12 – Leave earlier rather than later
We should probably pre-qualify this point by saying that this doesn’t mean after 15 minutes, you can escape. You can’t get away that easily!
But since introverts find socializing draining, the best idea is to leave on a high note. For example after a good conversation. It will be your last memory of the evening, and it will be a good one. It might even motivate you to actually LIKE networking.
Wrapping it up
So that concludes our top 12 small talk and networking tips for introverts list. We hope we’ve given all you introverts a few things to think about!
Networking is hard, but we’re here to help. Make sure you sign up for our free weekly networking tips, so you can continue to get emails you’ll look forward to that will help you along your networking journey.
Please note: As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.