Top Business Networking Challenges Solved

As business networking experts, we have surveyed our audiences and readers about the top challenges they have when networking in the face-to-face world. And that world is opening up post pandemic!

These are actual comments about networking challenges from our audiences, as well as our solutions. Here they are, in order of importance, starting with #1.

#1 Challenge: Being an introvert, I am most comfortable in small groups or one-on-one.

Solution: It’s smart to recognize that one-on-one and small groups are the most comfortable way for an introvert to network. Asking someone out for coffee or joining small meet-up groups are good ways to network, but what if you have to attend a bigger event? In business and life, there are networking activities you can’t escape, such as a company event, a conference or a wedding. Here are some ideas to make these networking occasions less stressful.

  • It helps to know that you are not alone in your anxiety. Research shows 30 per cent to 50 per cent of the population are somewhere on the introvert scale, so remind yourself that others in the room feel the same way. Why not make them feel more comfortable? Offer up a warm smile and be the first one to ask a question to start the conversation. Have a host-like mentality—even if you aren’t the host.
  • Take the pressure off by relaxing and remembering that you aren’t there to sell yourself. We call this Positive Networking®, “discovering what you can do for someone else with no expectation of anything in return.” This what-can-I-do-for-you attitude also creates natural conversation fire-starters. As a positive networker you want to learn about the other person, so you automatically ask questions.
  • This tip is a no-brainer: go with a tag teammate because it’s simply easier to network with a buddy!

#2 Challenge: Getting up the nerve to speak to strangers.

Solution:  This is a mind-over-matter issue because there’s an infinitesimally small chance that something awful is going to happen. You won’t be struck by lightning. The floor won’t open up and suck you into Middle Earth. But even if you realize that networking is not a life-threatening situation, no one likes the potential of rejection. It can happen when you start a conversation with someone only to have them put up a “wall.” Your first thoughts are likely, Why doesn’t this person want to talk to me? Why does this person not like me?

Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, explains what is happening in this situation: “The brain’s areas for movement and emotion are peppered with ‘mirror neurons,’… brain cells that act like neural Wi-Fi. These neurons specialize in tuning into the person we are with and creating in our brain a replica of the other’s emotions, actions, and intentions—tuning us to their wavelength.” In other words, emotions are contagious and you’ve just caught their negative virus.

What you want to do is act confident―even if you have to fake it. Continue to smile, stay focused, keep your body language open and maintain the conversation in a positive manner. Your goal is to leave that person with a mirror of your positive emotions, actions, and intentions. No matter what the outcome, if you understand what is happening at a neural level, you will feel you are in control of a positive outcome for yourself.

#3 Challenge: It’s a challenge to break in and introduce yourself where there are cliques.

Solution:  This is where experience is a huge asset. Your self-assurance comes from getting used to networking and practising the skills. Sorry, there is no substitute. Next time you want to break into a group, try these techniques:

  • Find an open group, not one where you have to use a jackhammer to break into the circle. Approach the group with a smile and try to make eye contact with someone. Be patient, and when there’s a break in the conversation, introduce yourself. Yes, you can still be rejected (sorry, some people still act like nerds in their cliques), but if you treat it like an experiment, it takes the emotion out of it. You’ll be more curious than fearful. I wonder how long before someone acknowledges me and invites me into the group?
  • It’s also good to test-drive breaking into a group. You will need backup. Say to your networking tag teammate, “Wait here while I try and join that group. If it doesn’t work, come rescue me.” Knowing you’ve got backup removes the risk, and you will find, after a few successes, that it will be easier for you to go to networking events solo.

Just a reminder, if you are one of the people in a group, be the person who notices someone who wants to join your circle of conversation. Smile and make room for them in the circle. When there’s a break in the conversation, bring that person into the group and say, “Thanks for joining us. Let me introduce you to everyone.”

#4 Challenge: I am not good with small talk.

Solution:  Our experience after teaching the skills of networking for over two decades is that everyone can relate to this networking challenge.

  • Our first piece of advice is simple. Understand that small talk feels awkward. It’s your up-front investment to get a conversation started.
  • Keep the questions logical, contextual, and open-ended, if possible. “Your name tag shows that you are a member—tell me something about this association.” “How do you know the host?” “What are you hoping to learn from the speaker?”
  • Avoid awkward personal questions such as, “Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn’t know.”
  • Your goal is to get people talking about themselves, what they do, their passions or interests. That’s how you create rapport and positive energy.
  • You don’t have to be quick or witty, you just have to be interested.

#5 Challenge: Conversational skills—I can generally carry on a conversation, but there are some people I am entirely awkward with, and I cannot clearly identify why.

Solution:  It’s true, sometimes there’s a you-can’t-put-your-finger-on-it kind of awkwardness in conversations. Our advice, from years of networking, is don’t overthink it. Not every encounter has to be an instant and amazing connection. But in case you are wondering, here are a few things that may be causing this feeling.

  • You may be getting a vibe that they are judging you, or wondering if you can do anything for them. This is the modus operandi of old-fashioned transactional networkers, and it feels uncomfortable to be caught in their crosshairs.
  • Or they could be shy. They need time to feel comfortable and understand that you don’t bite.
  • Perhaps the other person is more senior, and you feel intimidated. If this senior person is someone in your company, talk about the work that you do and your team. As a leader, they should want this information. Or talk about some of the latest company initiatives and try and create a dialogue around this.  
  • With anyone who is more senior, give yourself permission to engage in a conversation by doing a little self-talk: They should want to hear what I have to say–actually I’m sure they do!
  • If the awkwardness continues, move on. It will feel better if you do the disengagement (nicely) rather than drag it out.

#6 Challenge: How do I exit a conversation gracefully?

Solution:  Find the right moment to disengage. Trying to avoid sounding too harsh is one of the challenges, so let’s start with what not to say:

  • “I see someone over there who I want to go and meet.” (Implication: I want to talk to that person more than I want to talk to you.)
  • “I see a friend over there who I want to say hello to.” (Implication: You are not as important to talk to as a friend of mine.)
  • “Sorry, I have to take this call.” (Enough said…)

Instead of these brush-off sentences, become skilled (and kind) at exiting a conversation.

  • The nicest approach is to take the person over to meet someone else. “Let me introduce you to someone I think you should meet.” Or “Why don’t we go meet some other people?” Recognize that this may not be the best technique if you want to move on solo.
  • Good networkers exit conversations as painlessly as possible—no fuss, no muss. Just a few kind words, and they are on their way. They find a moment in the conversation to change the subject and let the other person know they are moving on. “Natalie, I’m so glad I’ve learned more about your company. You’ve done some impressive things with your social media. Thanks for your insight. It was great talking to you.”
  • Of course, these exit techniques don’t work if the person leaving the conversation has been scanning the room planning their escape. Make each networking conversation a high-quality engagement, no matter how brief.
  • Also, it’s important to not be the one ‘clinging on’ to the conversation. Recognize that the other person may be happy to move on too.

#7 Challenge: Scheduling to attend an event due to time constraints, and sometimes cost.

Solution:  You’ve actually answered part of this time-challenge question; you need to schedule it. Business networking falls to the bottom of most priority lists as the ‘real’ work keeps piling up. It may be your best intention to do more networking, but unless you book it in your calendar, it probably won’t happen. You can also improve your chances of not cancelling if you invite someone to accompany you. That doesn’t mean you have to pay for them but making a commitment to go to the event with someone will keep you from bailing.

If you consider networking to be a marketing cost, then the $70 for a board of trade, chamber or business event is money well spent if you maximize your networking–circulating and following up. But you don’t always need to fork out big bucks for events. Regularly Google “business networking events” or “networking events” and you’ll be surprised at the number of great low or no-cost events happening where you live.

Remember that everyday situations provide natural opportunities to build your network―riding your office elevator, standing in line for coffee, attending your children’s sporting activities. Networking is an attitude, not just events.

#8 Challenge: How do I find groups that I ‘fit’ with?

Solution:  Try looking for networking opportunities that complement your business needs, as well as your personality and passions. Ask yourself:

  • Do I need a support network such as young professional group, an internal network within the firm, a venture capital/angel investor network or a women’s network? (Men: Many women’s networks encourage male members and board members.)
  • Do I need a network that will open me up to new opportunities, in other words, somewhere to meet a diverse group of people?
  • Which organizations are the most dynamic and active in my community? How can I get more involved? Can I join a committee? If it’s a volunteer organization, how can I add value?
  • Do I need to get out from behind my desk and join a sports club, book club, hiking group or wine group?

Remember that it takes time to build relationships with new people. Keep going back; don’t give up. Pretty soon it will feel like Cheers, where everyone knows your name.

#9 Challenge: How do I follow up? How do I maintain my relationships?

Solution: Here are some things to consider regarding follow-up:

  • Look for an opportunity to share some information immediately or at a later date. If you’ve been asking them questions, you’ll probably have enough knowledge so you can follow up with some topic you discussed.
  • At the end of the conversation, ask for their permission to follow up.
  • If you don’t have a specific reason to follow up, ask the person to join you on LinkedIn. Personalize your invitation: “We met at the mayor’s speech at the Chamber of Commerce on Friday—her comments on taxes were surprising!
  • Go back to the same events or organizations regularly. You will become known, and this face-to-face contact is the easiest way to build rapport and trust. Be a connector. Who do you know that they don’t know? Then make the introduction.

#10 Challenge: I don’t think I bring as much to the table as others.

Solution: We are always surprised by the candidness of our networking audiences. This challenge of believing that you “don’t have something to contribute” or “people won’t be interested in what you have to say” doesn’t just happen to networking newbies. It is expressed by everyone, no matter what the level of experience.

There are some practical actions to take before going to a networking event that will help you be more confident in your contributions to the conversation.

If the event has a topic, a guest speaker or panel, do a little research before you show up. That way when you ask someone, “Have you heard this speaker before?” you’ll have some knowledge to add to the conversation and can add, “I was surprised to learn they had spoken at TED before.” This conversation can easily move on to TED Talks, and you can ask what are their favourite TED talks (and share yours). That’s how easy it is!

Other ways to be more prepared to contribute:

  • Go online and look for the latest news on the topic of the event.
  • Scan the news and see what’s topical or trending for general chit-chat. “Did you hear the story on the news this morning about…”

And, most importantly, turn off what Arianna Huffington calls the “obnoxious roommate living in your head” who says, I don’t think you bring as much to the table as others. Change your mantra to these three thoughts:

  • I will learn something new by listening to others.
  • I came prepared so I can ask a question.
  • I have something to offer.

What is your networking challenge?

Have we missed one of your business networking challenges? Perhaps we can solve it for you.

Contact us at: tips@shepalearning.com

Need more resources to become an awesome networker?

This concludes our solutions to the Top 10 Business Networking Challenges, but our relationship doesn’t need to end here. Here’s some other ways that we can continue to connect:

Gayle is a networking expertJudy from Shepa Learning Company is a networking expert

Gayle Hallgren and Judy Thomson